Maybe,
I find myself NEEDING to be wanted, loved, needed. To the point that it is my judgement on whether my life is successful or not.
After a single day spent alone without talking to anyone I feel extreme needs to talk to someone, anyone. I get a ridiculous adrenaline high just from doing things for people to help them out. I crave a mind blowing, problem erasing hug at some point every day.
I have been in a relationship and felt that super high feeling of being wanted and needed. Now I feel like I can be hoe hum happy I guess by myself, but that feeling is what I’m looking for and I won’t be successful in my eyes unless I find it. I knew you will always with me, no matter what. But did you with me when I am facing with one of my hardest moment in my life? But I try to be strong. Because I know, even you're not here with me but you will always pray for my best. And support in everything I do. Love me the way I am. That is the most important.
I hug a body pillow when I go to bed at night. I pretend not that it is a person, but that it is a feeling I have felt before. I have nobody up here. I feel so alone. Yeah, I know you won't get it. But, I feel so. Is it I have someone I can talk to right here? Heh. NO ONE. But lucky I have you. At least there is someone out there notice that I am exist :)
Wanting to be wanted, needed, loved, but being perfectly able to be happy alone is the way that most people are. I feel like NEEDING it is unhealthy. And it scares me. I put myself in a bad way because of it. I don’t ever think about what I need to do to protect myself. And at the end of the day I find myself wondering what if I never find it. That is such an earth shattering thought to me. What if I end up alone.
0 comments:
Post a Comment